In flux

My, my, my, it has been a long time.

Hello again, dear friends and family! I am terribly sorry there has been such a gap in my writing. I really never was any good at this blogging thing. I'm here now because the pressure on my conscience was mounting and I just felt too guilty not to write another day! But please, for redemption's sake, note that in March I posted a record of three (3) times. That's more than the last four months combined! I think during that time I must have been drinking a lot of coffee-flavored sugar milk (my sisters would insist that I don't actually drink coffee). And I haven't had any of that recently.

I am going to go into the rest of my tales from outreach in another post -- fingers crossed -- but, long story short, we went to China and I was not able to access my blog because it is considered a social media site and therefore blocked by the government. Womp :(. I arrived back in Perth on June 15th for a whirlwind week of re-acquanting myself with old friends, debriefing with my school, and an intense, three sessions per day, first time ever missions conference that the entire base was a part of. It was certainly a lot to take in, but God spoke wondrous things that week and allowed me to have a fantastic time with folks I hadn't seen in quite some time.

Also during that week I was scrambling to make plans to leave the country for a bit so that I could apply for a new Australian visa. The cheapest, and, funny enough, the closest place to fly to is Indonesia. Luckily there was a gal who had just completed her second-level school who was in the same boat as me. She had already booked her flight to Bali and had made plans to stay with some Indonesian friends that we know from the base for one week. I asked if I could tag along so I wouldn't have to go anywhere alone, prayed about it, and (after many failed attempts) booked my own ticket. Hallelujah! Many people have gone on said "visa runs" before, and usually end up staying in Bali for about two days. Our flight back home was July 2nd at 6:20am, but we weren't on it...

Unfortunately, things have not been going as smoothly or simply for us. You see, we need to cancel the current visas that we have, which expire at the end of the month, and apply for new visas that will last for the remainder of our time in Australia. Usually the Australian Immigration Embassy gets this done speedily, but we've just had some extra hoops to jump through for whatever reason. We, as well as those at the base in Perth, recognize that we must fight for these visas and spend this time in spiritual warfare. Both of our schools begin on July 7th. Prayers that we make it back in time are much appreciated! It's funny that our Indonesian friends were on the flight and made it back to Perth, and we're still here :). Currently we are staying at the YWAM base in Bali. We are just in the waiting game now! Hopefully our applications are processed quickly and our passports sent back to us soon. Until then, we are making new friends, helping out at the base, and going to the beach which is just across the road. And on this Independence Day spent in Indonesia, we are being rallied together with the three other Americans to have a barbecue. I even heard whispers of buying fireworks. Certainly fun, but I sure do miss home today!!

So, what else can I say in this random little post with no pictures? Oh, about that. My camera broke. On my birthday. For no apparent reason other than that I turned it on. Boo! So besides the ones I have already posted, I have zero photos from outreach. However I have the joy of stealing everyone else's photos via flash drive and hopefully bringing you the best of the best here very soon. And on getting older: how odd it is! Although my face seems to only be growing chubbier with age and I still have the legs of a twelve year old boy -- my feet got wrinklier. It's happening, people!!

I love you all very much. I am yet again so grateful to know that people are praying for me, supporting me, and even asking about me back home. I am doing well. I have enough money to buy a new ticket home and to cover the majority of my lecture phase fees for the BAS. I am still praying and trusting for the rest of those funds to come in, as well as enough for my 8-month outreach beginning in September. Please remember me over here in Indonesia/Australia and maybe even pray about supporting me! In total, my lecture phase fees for the Birth Attendant School will cost $3,960 AUD, and my outreach fees will cost around $7,000-9,000 AUD. Speaking of, I got to hear what our locations are :). We will be spending October to December in Lusaka, Zambia, December to March in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, and April to May in Calcutta, India. Whoohoo! I cannot wait to get back to Perth and get into the swing of things again.

Until then, I have some freedom-celebratin' to do.

Grace

With love, from Nepal

Hello loved ones!

Writing to you now from the Himalayan Cafe (where I can get pancakes and virtually uninterrupted internet, a precious commodity) in Kathmandu! Amazingly we only have four more days in the city, then we separate into our three locations around Nepal. Time goes by even faster on outreach! I am always praying for God to help me be present and really absorb all that I can from our short time here. If you know me, you know I tend to live in the future a little bit. Or a lot. But I am surely grateful for what God is doing in my life right now.

View from the roof

I feel like so much of what He has been speaking to me thus far focuses on why I am the way that I am. Being in a large group like this, all doing ministry together, it is easy to compare yourself with others. We have some incredibly gifted people on our team! I so easily slip into thinking that I'm not good enough, I'm not a powerful evangelist, I won't see miracles like they have, I don't have as good of a testimony, I won't share the gospel as well as her, etc. But God has been so patient and loving, and continues to reveal that He created me especially and specifically me. God thought of and designed the way that I connect with people, the way that I show my love, the way that I relate and adapt and live. I've been strengthened and encouraged by His words of truth over my life.

The smog does make way for some gorgeous sunsets. On a very rare occasion we can even
 see the snow-capped Himalayas in the distance!

When we first arrived, I was very hesitant to reach out to others. I've struggled to open up and connect and love on people, even the children next door, because my mind kept saying, "what's the point?" I'm just a foreigner passing through. I don't want to love and then leave like everyone else. Why do they need me when there's others around who have stepped out in love? How I felt weary of short term missions! I long to be in a community, really part of a community. Not just a white Westerner who forms close relationships, who is in intimate friendship with people, and then simply leaves. I want to belong! I want to be a part of a people and see long term change. I want to be known as Grace, a woman who is part of us. I want to share Jesus with my whole life, with the way I live and what I do, with absolutely everything that I am. Going out on evangelism and talking with people for a little bit has been hard for me. I know it is so good, that it is necessary and commanded and fruitful. But I've caught myself desiring full time missions, in fact, not being able to imagine anything different. What! Did I say that? Do I really want that? Man, God is changing my heart big time.

Hey das me

That said, I know I am right where He wants me. So I don't want my changing emotions to dictate my attitude towards what we're doing. Which really is a lot! Our days are full, and it's so good. Once a week we go to a place called Ratna Park -- basically an open dusty area where there's people congregated for reasons unknown/a market that is held there. We come in and draw a crowd immediately. One or two of our smaller teams will put on an open air (drama, testimony, gospel message) and then we mingle and share with people one-on-one. They are so hungry for Jesus! We've seen many people saved and even more healed and touched by the presence of God. The drama that we often do is to the song "Everything" by Lifehouse. I had never seen it before, but it is apparently well known amongst the Christian young-folk. It powerfully displays the message of Jesus without words, and I myself am brought almost to tears every time I watch it.

I have really been challenged during our evangelism times at Ratna Park and at a local university that we visit and also hold open airs at. I often find myself in the middle of a crowd of usually 10-20 men who direct extremely intellectual questions about Christianity at me. Me. One thing I know for certain is that it is the Holy Spirit speaking through me and giving me wisdom, because I somehow always have an answer for them. And they truly ask excellent questions! I am encouraged by that, because it is obvious that they have heard a little bit about what this Jesus thing is, pondered over questions and have been waiting in anticipation for someone to come along and give them the answers that they seek. I often hear "I am confused about _____."I have been in great conversations just explaining how following Christ is different than worshiping up to millions of Hindu gods. So many are stunned by the simple and powerful love of Jesus, the fact that we don't have to work to be "good" or earn grace, and this strange idea of praying to God anytime, anywhere, for anyone, about anything!

We hiked to the highest point in Kathmandu Valley!

On one of our days here we spent the morning waiting on the Lord to see what He would have us do that day. Our team was able to visit a slum near the river in an area of the city called Thamel. We felt that we were supposed to spend our time there just playing with the kids, which we joyfully did with balloons and bubbles and many rounds of Duck, Duck, Goose. My cup was filled because I sat next to a young mother who let me hold her precious baby girl, and even blow raspberries on her sweet tummy. When we left for that day, my mind was overflowing with thoughts about how God might use me in ministry down the road. I guess it was as good of a time as any to clue me in a little on His plans for me! I really haven't known, and still don't fully know, what my future will look like (as far as after the BAS/why He wants me to do that school). But you know how God is, and in His goodness to me and understanding of my curious nature, He brings just a bit of clarity to the blurriness. I love it when the blob of my future begins to take shape. Asdfghjkl. It's all very exciting. I cannot wait to see how these now nebulous plans begin to manifest themselves according to His timing and as He wills to reveal.

We went up so sing praises and proclaim God's promises over this region -- and got a nice
glimpse of His glory shining down!

Well gang I am now going to publish this post, a mere seven days after I started it. Needless to say, I am no longer at the Himalaya cafe. I blame the shifty internet more than my inability to write fast/make sure a draft is saved before exiting the window... But, thus is outreach life. Anyway. I really want to thank you all for continuing to support me, love me, and pray for me. I sorely need it and just hope you know how much I appreciate you! I have remained very healthy thus far (thanks momma), been sleeping well, and enjoying fellowship with my friends during this time, which will be over before I know it! That said, it will most likely be harder for me to write during our three weeks in Biratnagar, but I shall surely try my best! Thank you again for everything you do. Really, truly. Thank you :).

Until next time,
Grace

Emerge

I told you I would write again soon :).

Unbelievably, we are embarking on the next chapter of this whirlwind journey starting tomorrow! We'll fly out around 4:30pm Easter Sunday, have a 12 hour layover in Bangkok, and then arrive in the city of Kathmandu, Nepal. We as a school of 23 students will stay there for 4 weeks, doing mostly evangelism (one-on-one, open airs, dramas, testimonies) but we will also possibly give simple healthcare teachings and participate in homeless ministry and work with the local street children! It will surely be a challenging, yet fruitful time. I am expectant for God to move in a big way while our team is there; we are all ready to give our all, and have heard countless stories of how open the Nepalese people are to the Gospel. Then for our next 3 weeks in Nepal, my smaller outreach team of 9 students will head out for a 16 hour bus ride to the village of Biratnagar, in Southern Nepal just beside the border of India. In this location we will likely be teaching English, performing simple healthcare seminars/administering eye tests and giving out eyeglasses, and working with a children's home. Then we head back to Kathmandu for a day or two, and from there fly out to our second nation! Outreach there will look a little different, but we are planning to work in an orphanage for at least a week, and of course spend ample time at "English corners" to make friends, fellowship, and share Good News with them! We will be in a city of nearly 30 million people, and so many of those souls are hungry for God. What an incredible people and nation!

"Commissioning Night," Compassion DTS 2013 school and leaders!

As we have been preparing our hearts, minds, and suitcases for outreach, I am feeling immensely blessed to have had week 11 of lectures be centered on missions, and week 12 on spiritual warfare. I learned many key things that I know the Lord will use specifically in these next 3 months. So much of missions stems from your heart. Something begins there, and it changes everything. God plants a desire, an image, a nation, an issue of injustice. And you're done in. There's a yearning there -- to be used by God, to be shaped by Him for this purpose, to see circumstances changed and lives transformed in His name. How amazing it is that God trusts us enough to reveal even the tiniest bit of His heart to us, to you, to me. How can I love the lost on my own? How can I feel true compassion, not just human pity for them? I need the love of God to pour out of me for them. I need His heart for people. In this day and age, our hearts have become desensitized by what we see and hear. They grow callous in our chests and hinder us from feeling soft towards the plight of others. One thing that God has spoken to me about outreach/my future is that He will keep my heart soft. In His grace and for His good purpose, He will keep me sensitive and save me from growing cold towards all I see. I am eager and hopeful to see what God reveals to me in these next 3 months and beyond. Being compassionate doesn't just mean having empathy, it means extending hope. My hope is in the Lord, and I am anxious to see how He will use me to reach out to others in hope, in love, in Him.

Thank you so much for supporting me thus far. I cannot believe the first 3 months have come and gone so quickly, but I am completely blessed with the teaching I have received as a firm foundation before we head off to our various destinations. I will keep this updated as much as I can -- we are looking to get to an internet cafe about once a week right now. Please keep me and my team in your prayers, they are much needed and appreciated!! Thank you :).

Much love,
Grace