Hello loved ones!
Writing to you now from the Himalayan Cafe (where I can get pancakes and virtually uninterrupted internet, a precious commodity) in Kathmandu! Amazingly we only have four more days in the city, then we separate into our three locations around Nepal. Time goes by even faster on outreach! I am always praying for God to help me be present and really absorb all that I can from our short time here. If you know me, you know I tend to live in the future a little bit. Or a lot. But I am surely grateful for what God is doing in my life right now.
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| View from the roof |
I feel like so much of what He has been speaking to me thus far focuses on why I am the way that I am. Being in a large group like this, all doing ministry together, it is easy to compare yourself with others. We have some incredibly gifted people on our team! I so easily slip into thinking that I'm not good enough, I'm not a powerful evangelist, I won't see miracles like they have, I don't have as good of a testimony, I won't share the gospel as well as her, etc. But God has been so patient and loving, and continues to reveal that He created me especially and specifically me. God thought of and designed the way that I connect with people, the way that I show my love, the way that I relate and adapt and live. I've been strengthened and encouraged by His words of truth over my life.
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The smog does make way for some gorgeous sunsets. On a very rare occasion we can even
see the snow-capped Himalayas in the distance! |
When we first arrived, I was very hesitant to reach out to others. I've struggled to open up and connect and love on people, even the children next door, because my mind kept saying, "what's the point?" I'm just a foreigner passing through. I don't want to love and then leave like everyone else. Why do they need me when there's others around who have stepped out in love? How I felt weary of short term missions! I long to be in a community, really
part of a community. Not just a white Westerner who forms close relationships, who is in intimate friendship with people, and then simply leaves. I want to belong! I want to be a part of a people and see long term change. I want to be known as Grace, a woman who is part of us. I want to share Jesus with my whole life, with the way I live and what I do, with absolutely everything that I am. Going out on evangelism and talking with people for a little bit has been hard for me. I know it is so good, that it is necessary and commanded and fruitful. But I've caught myself desiring full time missions, in fact, not being able to imagine anything different. What! Did I say that? Do I really want that? Man, God is changing my heart big time.
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| Hey das me |
That said, I know I am right where He wants me. So I don't want my changing emotions to dictate my attitude towards what we're doing. Which really is a lot! Our days are full, and it's so good. Once a week we go to a place called Ratna Park -- basically an open dusty area where there's people congregated for reasons unknown/a market that is held there. We come in and draw a crowd immediately. One or two of our smaller teams will put on an open air (drama, testimony, gospel message) and then we mingle and share with people one-on-one. They are so hungry for Jesus! We've seen many people saved and even more healed and touched by the presence of God. The drama that we often do is to the song "Everything" by Lifehouse. I had never seen it before, but it is apparently well known amongst the Christian young-folk. It powerfully displays the message of Jesus without words, and I myself am brought almost to tears every time I watch it.
I have really been challenged during our evangelism times at Ratna Park and at a local university that we visit and also hold open airs at. I often find myself in the middle of a crowd of usually 10-20 men who direct extremely intellectual questions about Christianity at me. Me. One thing I know for certain is that it is the Holy Spirit speaking through me and giving me wisdom, because I somehow always have an answer for them. And they truly ask excellent questions! I am encouraged by that, because it is obvious that they have heard a little bit about what this Jesus thing is, pondered over questions and have been waiting in anticipation for someone to come along and give them the answers that they seek. I often hear "I am confused about _____."I have been in great conversations just explaining how following Christ is different than worshiping up to millions of Hindu gods. So many are stunned by the simple and powerful love of Jesus, the fact that we don't have to work to be "good" or earn grace, and this strange idea of praying to God anytime, anywhere, for anyone, about anything!
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| We hiked to the highest point in Kathmandu Valley! |
On one of our days here we spent the morning waiting on the Lord to see what He would have us do that day. Our team was able to visit a slum near the river in an area of the city called Thamel. We felt that we were supposed to spend our time there just playing with the kids, which we joyfully did with balloons and bubbles and many rounds of Duck, Duck, Goose. My cup was filled because I sat next to a young mother who let me hold her precious baby girl, and even blow raspberries on her sweet tummy. When we left for that day, my mind was overflowing with thoughts about how God might use me in ministry down the road. I guess it was as good of a time as any to clue me in a little on His plans for me! I really haven't known, and still don't fully know, what my future will look like (as far as after the BAS/why He wants me to do that school). But you know how God is, and in His goodness to me and understanding of my curious nature, He brings just a bit of clarity to the blurriness. I love it when the blob of my future begins to take shape. Asdfghjkl. It's all very exciting. I cannot wait to see how these now nebulous plans begin to manifest themselves according to His timing and as He wills to reveal.
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We went up so sing praises and proclaim God's promises over this region -- and got a nice
glimpse of His glory shining down! |
Well gang I am now going to publish this post, a mere seven days after I started it. Needless to say, I am no longer at the Himalaya cafe. I blame the shifty internet more than my inability to write fast/make sure a draft is saved before exiting the window... But, thus is outreach life. Anyway. I really want to thank you all for continuing to support me, love me, and pray for me. I sorely need it and just hope you know how much I appreciate you! I have remained very healthy thus far (thanks momma), been sleeping well, and enjoying fellowship with my friends during this time, which will be over before I know it! That said, it will most likely be harder for me to write during our three weeks in Biratnagar, but I shall surely try my best! Thank you again for everything you do. Really, truly. Thank you :).
Until next time,
Grace
