Emerge

I told you I would write again soon :).

Unbelievably, we are embarking on the next chapter of this whirlwind journey starting tomorrow! We'll fly out around 4:30pm Easter Sunday, have a 12 hour layover in Bangkok, and then arrive in the city of Kathmandu, Nepal. We as a school of 23 students will stay there for 4 weeks, doing mostly evangelism (one-on-one, open airs, dramas, testimonies) but we will also possibly give simple healthcare teachings and participate in homeless ministry and work with the local street children! It will surely be a challenging, yet fruitful time. I am expectant for God to move in a big way while our team is there; we are all ready to give our all, and have heard countless stories of how open the Nepalese people are to the Gospel. Then for our next 3 weeks in Nepal, my smaller outreach team of 9 students will head out for a 16 hour bus ride to the village of Biratnagar, in Southern Nepal just beside the border of India. In this location we will likely be teaching English, performing simple healthcare seminars/administering eye tests and giving out eyeglasses, and working with a children's home. Then we head back to Kathmandu for a day or two, and from there fly out to our second nation! Outreach there will look a little different, but we are planning to work in an orphanage for at least a week, and of course spend ample time at "English corners" to make friends, fellowship, and share Good News with them! We will be in a city of nearly 30 million people, and so many of those souls are hungry for God. What an incredible people and nation!

"Commissioning Night," Compassion DTS 2013 school and leaders!

As we have been preparing our hearts, minds, and suitcases for outreach, I am feeling immensely blessed to have had week 11 of lectures be centered on missions, and week 12 on spiritual warfare. I learned many key things that I know the Lord will use specifically in these next 3 months. So much of missions stems from your heart. Something begins there, and it changes everything. God plants a desire, an image, a nation, an issue of injustice. And you're done in. There's a yearning there -- to be used by God, to be shaped by Him for this purpose, to see circumstances changed and lives transformed in His name. How amazing it is that God trusts us enough to reveal even the tiniest bit of His heart to us, to you, to me. How can I love the lost on my own? How can I feel true compassion, not just human pity for them? I need the love of God to pour out of me for them. I need His heart for people. In this day and age, our hearts have become desensitized by what we see and hear. They grow callous in our chests and hinder us from feeling soft towards the plight of others. One thing that God has spoken to me about outreach/my future is that He will keep my heart soft. In His grace and for His good purpose, He will keep me sensitive and save me from growing cold towards all I see. I am eager and hopeful to see what God reveals to me in these next 3 months and beyond. Being compassionate doesn't just mean having empathy, it means extending hope. My hope is in the Lord, and I am anxious to see how He will use me to reach out to others in hope, in love, in Him.

Thank you so much for supporting me thus far. I cannot believe the first 3 months have come and gone so quickly, but I am completely blessed with the teaching I have received as a firm foundation before we head off to our various destinations. I will keep this updated as much as I can -- we are looking to get to an internet cafe about once a week right now. Please keep me and my team in your prayers, they are much needed and appreciated!! Thank you :).

Much love,
Grace

Metanoia

Hello friends :)

We are ushering in the autumn weather here in Perth! Kooky, isn't it? It feels like yesterday that people were exclaiming that the summer temperatures had finally arrived (like a nice and sultry 106 degrees) and now suddenly it's 75 and I'm clinging to a hot cup of coffee. No seriously I am. Right now. But I suppose three months have come and gone in the blink of an eye, and our beloved summer has called it quits.

I just need to say that I thoroughly enjoy living in such a multicultural community. But it has caused my vocabulary to shrink significantly. My words have gone to muck. I can never think of just the right word that I'm looking for, and thus am forced to settle for a sub-par word. Or, on many occasions, use a completely incorrect or even a fake (yes, fake) word. One time I was trying to use the word repertoire, and got a little mixed up and said reservoir. I also just spelled both of those words incorrectly. And just today I said "I should've grabben that" instead of grabbed. Gasp! I will say, I love the ESL's here. Love 'em. But really, I mean do you all know how much I depend on thesaurus.com? I always have, but now I am completely helpless.

So, where were we? Week 8's topic was evangelism. I knew going into it that it would be challenging for me (we go into the city every Thursday night to evangelize and it hasn't exactly been the highlight of my week, heh) but I also knew that God was going to shift my opinions and shake me out of my comfort zone. Metanoia is Greek for "change your thinking." Ultimately, evangelism is about relating to people. It's about inspiring others to know and love God. It's about finding out where the bridges have collapsed in their lives and rebuilding them so that they can reconnect with God. But what intimidated me the most was feeling like I would have no way to relate to people. Would we have anything in common? I have always doubted the power of my own testimony. And what exactly is a "testimony?" Any encounter with God that results in a change of thinking, attitude, behavior or circumstance. It was incredibly freeing to hear that the strength of your testimony is not associated with the type of sin you were caught in. The power is in God alone, who He is and what He has done! I once was lost but now I'm found. I have something relevant to say to everyone I encounter, and that may look different for each person I speak with, but as long as I am vulnerable and open, points of connection will reveal themselves. God really spoke to me through the question "Do you think I require perfection to show them what I'm like?" He only requires faithfulness. He delights to work through us, even in the midst of our human messiness. Yeah, that's pretty cool.

Ope, I don't have any pictures to make this post interesting...

Week 9 of lectures was on the fear of the Lord. This was an extremely enlightening week for me, it covered just about everything and was spot on. I'm looking at my notes and feeling all perturbed because I have to pick and choose what gets to be in the blog. But I think what stands out in my mind from that week is the fact that I had a really hard time hearing God's voice. I couldn't figure out what might've been standing in the way. I had had it in my mind that this would be a big week for me, I was anxious to see what God would do and I thought by the time we had application on Friday I would be transformed! I was expecting breakthrough. Why wasn't God saying anything to me? By the end of the week I was really desperate. I was on my knees crying out to God. Because I missed Him. Because I love Him. Because if I'm in a place where I can't hear Him speak, it is a scary place indeed. I didn't know what the problem was. But I feel like God was really challenging me that week. Would I seek Him out? Would I not settle for nothing? Did I depend on Him? And I don't think I had been. I realized that I was seeking out quick changes; I was waiting to be handed revelation on a platter. It's interesting to go through my notes now and see sentences like "It's not enough to know that Jesus can breakthrough in a particular area. Pray! Have relationship with Him. No shortcuts," and "We don't grow from abrupt and sudden changes. We grow slowly, change is a process, and we develop through relationship." Oh. Maybe He was speaking.

Week 10's topic was relationships. Of all kinds. It's interesting to think about how relationship isn't something created -- it was always there. Father, Son, and Holy Spirit in perfect love, perfect unity, perfect relationship. We come out of the excess love of that relationship, and it's the foundation for everything that we do. Again and again we come back to the fact that God is relational. I mean why are we here on the earth? Why doesn't God just fix everything and make it all perfect? Because He wants to work together! He wants to show His love to the world, and He wants to work alongside us to reach that goal. Would a person fully understand the love of an invisible God without another to show it to her in the physical? Even if she saw miracles with her own eyes, would that create belief? Faith is not produced through miraculous signs (the Israelites proved that much). Faith comes from a repentant heart. It comes from being confronted with the reality of our separation, and our need for a Way to be made to have relationship with God, and also with one another. We are created for relationship. And as I go out and do my best to help meet people's physical needs, I cannot ever forget that what they truly long for is relationship. Good shtuff! At the end of this week, God spoke to me out of Hebrews 12:

"You have not come to a mountain that can be touched and that is burning with fire; to darkness, gloom and storm; to a trumpet blast or to such a voice speaking words that those who heard it begged that no further word be spoken to them . . .  But you have come to Mount Zion, to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem. You have come to thousands upon thousands of angels in joyful assembly, to the church of the firstborn, whose names are written in heaven. You have come to God, the Judge of all, to the spirits of the righteous made perfect, to Jesus the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood that speaks a better word than the blood of Abel. See to it that you do not refuse him who speaks . . . Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our 'God is a consuming fire.'”

What can I add to that??

Well folks, I think that's about all for this post. But I will be writing again soon and very soon to cover the last two weeks of lectures (we only have one more week to go!) and give you the details for my outreach! So keep checking. It really will be soon this time. We fly out Easter Sunday :).

Hi


(note: this is not the cup of coffee referenced in paragraph one. This is a different day. Blogging takes like 2 days. And lots of coffee).

Dat's me. Okay. Bye now!

Exposure

G'day everyone! 

Sorry my posts are so few and far in between; I have been daunted by this one because I have much to share about what I've learned. So beware!

Week 6 covered the Father heart of God. Yes. That is why it is going to take me awhile! This week was definitely the most influential for me personally. It exposed every lie I have believed about God's thoughts towards me. During the week's teaching, I found myself feeling a little confused, my mind was cloudy and I was trying to connect the dots and make sense of what I was hearing. I'm not sure I was really able to do that. I can't even pick out phrases from my notes to share with you! But I do know the truths that God has spoken over me. On the Friday of "application" all the wrinkles in my mind were smoothed. The seams I had sewn so tightly began to unravel. 

I am coming undone, and it's a beautiful thing my friends.

If you know me, you probably know at least a bit about the struggles I keep coming back to. For quite some time I have been trying to reconcile this God who wants to give me good things, to bless me and fulfill me, yet requires me to deny myself and take up my cross. No pun intended, I used to get really hung up on that one. I thought I had to forsake everything that I really wanted if I was to please Him. I think a lot of what caused my troubles was this whole belief that says "Jesus just wants to make you happy! Jesus wants you to do whatever makes you happy. He will give you the desires of your heart (aka whatever you want that makes you happy)." And no, I am not saying Jesus doesn't want me or you to be happy. He does. But His ultimate design is not for me to do whatever pleases me in this life. He created me to be in relationship with Him, to love Him and therefore obey Him. And I want to do that more than anything. But what I have come to realize is that I can get really focused on a certain thing. For example, I would constantly be wondering what was "the next thing," what must I do, what must I give up? So, on that note, I'll share a tidbit of what was prayed over me:

"Sometimes you get into ruts, going back to the same things you've gone through in life. The Father says you are already accepted and you don't have to do things to grasp it. Relax my love. God never gets frustrated with us. It is not a heavy job, it is complete focus on the day; it is not a task and we can never be perfect until the day we meet Him . . . Just be available, that's all He wants. Don't try and push through things you 'think' you have to do . . . You can't fall, you are safe in Him. No more striving or having to be good enough or 'what do I have to do next.' My grace is sufficient . . . If you stumble, Jesus is not disappointed in you, He will pull you back on track, there is no way you could fall off His path. His plans will bring you joy and He will send you to a place of fulfillment . . . God is a God of patience and grace, He wants to champion you, He doesn't want to give you things and then take them away. He wants to give you the desires of your heart."

And there's more good stuff. But I'll leave it at that :). Before the older gentleman prayed over me (well it was Father Heart of God week), I explained what I had been battling with and what I was fearful of. I found myself speaking out that I had been putting the chains on myself. It was I who picked up the burden time and time again. Jesus came to free us, the work is done, He is victorious, we are free and adopted and accepted in the beloved. I am eternally embraced by the Father. Can it get any better?

Whew! Okay, slight change of direction. Immediately after this we partook in "slum survivor" weekend, which is something the Compassion DTS students participate in every year. We set off into the Australian bush with only the clothes on our backs to, as best as we could, parallel what life looks like for one billion people in the world. We split up into our three smaller outreach teams and built slums out of cardboard, some garbage bags, and various tree branches (to waterproof it). We were given a dinner meal of rice and lentils on Saturday night, and ate that again on Sunday morning. We had a limited supply of water that we kept in a bucket outside of our slum. We also participated in these fun little "challenges" where food was awarded to the winning team. We had relay races and played a soccer tournament with a ball that we made out of newspaper and pinecones. My team never won. But luckily the teams who did win were gracious and shared their booty with us :). 

The good-lookin team China.

It was an incredibly humbling and eye-opening experience. We learned that 90% of people who live in cities in Ethiopia live in slums. And I can't remember the name of it, but somewhere there is a city that has only two toilets for 28,000 people. I have more than that in my home. Lord! Where is the justice for these people? May I not stop up my ears to the case of the slum dweller. May I not take pity on them, only to return to the luxuries and comforts of home. And can I help it? It is "what I was born into." We all know that there are more than enough resources on this good earth, more than enough money, more than enough people to help. Where are they? Where am I? We had a lot of time of intercession on behalf of the people living in slums, and also for Christians to be sent out to live and work among them. Who knows? It could be me. Could be you. Jesus is looking for us. Are we willing?

We are also fierce.

And proud of our slum. It was the best of them all. It withstood the phony rain and wind tests like a champ.

Inside our slum! I slept on the cardboard with a blanket. It was kind of a long night.

Next came week 7, which was on lordship. I was a little scared to get into this topic after all the breakthrough I experienced during Father heart of God week. I thought my thinking would turn to the old ways. But God is gracious! It was a challenging week to be sure, but it was good. You get confronted with a lot of tough questions. Is Jesus the Lord of my attitude? Is He Lord over how I respond under pressure? What are the idols in my life, what do I turn to for comfort, what would I disobey God for? What "rights" am I holding onto? I learned that we cannot allow what we think of as our personal needs to Lord us over loving others. Yes, I can say that God made me an introvert. But He didn't make me selfish. So when we die to ourselves, to our "rights," His grace will be released to us! He will grant me the solitude that I desire. He just wants me to relinquish my hold on it first, that's all. When He confronts us with sin, His first response is always graciousness. How can I not trust Him? How can I treat Him like my personal Jesus, to pull out whenever it suits me? How can I not give Him all? I cannot afford to not have Jesus on the throne as Lord over my life. But especially for me, it is important to remember that it's not about striving or being perfect. It's not about hyper-religious activity. It's understanding that God is a consuming fire, and He has the divine right to my life. His intentions, His motives, His purposes for me are good. He is not setting me up to fail. He created me because it pleased Him so. Can I say "aw" without it being cheesy? Because, seriously, aw, God! You are too good. All I need to do is unclench my own fists and accept the fullness of His embrace, withholding nothing. It is surely worth it.

Man, I sure do hope you guys want to hear all this stuff. Now for an update on finances. My expenses, including airfare, accommodation, food, and visa for Nepal and China will be roughly $4,100 AUD. Just this past weekend, our school put on a "sausage sizzler" (aka hot dog stand) and a car wash to raise funds. We made over $2,000 in one day! Many students in my school are still trusting God for all of their outreach fees. On March 5th, we will be participating in a 12 kilometer walk-a-thon around Lake Monger here in Perth to raise money to cover our expenses and be sent to the nations! Would you be willing to pledge to support me in this, either one-time or per/km? 

I have already been blown away by the generosity of my supporters, and I am trusting that God will bring in the rest of our fees, possibly through some of you lovely people! If you would like more information, I'd be happy to give it! If you would like to donate online, you can do so here. Thank you so much for investing in my life in this way, I really would not be here without you. Really.

If you're still awake after all that, and made it all the way down here, I salute you. Thanks for loving me and caring about my goings-on. Blessin's on ya, blessin's on ALL of ya :)

Grace